YOUR GUIDE TO AUTHENTIC DATING

Practical tips to go from

confused to confident

in your love life

Get one step closer to your dream woman

YOUR GUIDE TO AUTHENTIC DATING

Practical tips to go from

confused to confident

in your love life

Get one step closer to your dream woman

Previous Issues of The Newsletters

blog image

Are You in the Anxious-Avoidant Trap?

February 01, 202410 min read

One morning I woke up and decided enough was enough.

As a romantic, the most important part of my life was finding a special person to share it with.

Some call it “boy crazy.” And being boy crazy was somewhat normal in middle school and high school, even college.

But in my mid-twenties, after two back-to-back multi-year relationships ended painfully, I felt like there was something wrong with me.

I didn’t know why I could attract men easily but never keep them.

I was heartbroken and worried I would date forever. Then I found thought work.

Working on my limiting beliefs helped me enough to feel ready to get back into the dating world. At first, I loved dating. With the apps, I was able to meet amazing men.

But then I started to notice patterns.

I would feel anxious anytime I met someone new. I’d obsess over what to say next, how he felt about me, or what his texts meant.

And when he was into me, I’d worry about choosing the wrong partner again and getting hurt.

Within a few dates, one of us always decided to move on.

Dating became extremely distracting.

I had big dreams, professionally and personally, and I knew whatever I was feeling in dating was holding me back from my potential.

I started researching love, attraction, and dating. I thought there must be something I was doing or saying wrong. But meditation and sending texts I found on the internet didn’t work.

And then I came across attachment theory. It explained why I felt so great in my day-to-day life and like a mess in dating.

It clearly described why I could never maintain a connection, no matter how strong our feelings were for each other at the beginning.

It all started to make sense. I was subconsciously programmed to sabotage my love life, and so were the guys I was attracted to.

After months of reading and following dating coaches, I thought I cracked the code.

Then, one more short-lived relationship ended.

I realized I had awareness, but I didn’t have the tools to change my patterns.

I knew I wanted help, but I was scared. I was worried a coach would tell me something was wrong with me or I was destined to be alone forever. Or worse, she/he would sell me on love, I’d spend tons of money, and then never have it.

I decided to believe in myself and in my ability to succeed. I wasn’t going to let another second go by without understanding why I couldn’t break the cycle on my own.

My coach changed my life. She helped me see the parts of me I couldn’t. Held space and love for me as I processed my pain, frustration, and sadness. Helped me create a clear roadmap to attract true love and abundance. And gave me the tools I needed to cultivate the fulfilling and expansive partnership I’m in now with my fiance, Mike.

And I’m so grateful I get to do the same for you!

I know trying something new can feel uncomfortable.

But I get excited now when I feel the lump in my throat or a shakiness in my limbs, and my clients do too.

Because we know this isn’t fear, it’s an excitement that something big is coming. That everything is about to change, for the better. And something we weren’t able to attract into our lives previously, is about to show up.

It’s your turn.

If you’ve been thinking about working together, and every time you do you start to feel resistance, lean into it. It’s a great sign!

Joining one of my programs will be a huge uplevel. Investing in yourself and your love life in itself tells the universe you’re ready for your dream woman.

And right now, you have the opportunity to join my course, Masculine in Love!

Your dream woman is out there, hoping to meet you too. But until you break the cycle and reprogram your subconscious, she’s going to have to keep waiting.

It’s time to join Masculine in Love and get the love you’ve always desired with the woman you’ve always dreamed about. 

Masculine in Love

And if you want to take your coaching to the next level and work one-on-one to accelerate your results, I have one VIP Private Coaching spot opening up. 

Apply now and see if we’re a good fit for your transformation.

Emily Freeman Coaching Application to be a VIP Private Client

Are you in the anxious-avoidant trap?

Being in the anxious-avoidant trap is exhausting. It feels intense and exciting one minute and then chaotic and painful the next. 

It’s like you’re never on the same page for longer than a few days, or even hours. 

It can make you feel insane, but you’re not.

You’re just programmed to choose women who are energetically incompatible with you. 

The anxious-avoidant trap is when an anxious attacher, or someone with more anxious attachment tendencies, dates an avoidant, or someone with more avoidant tendencies. 

You are both triggering each other’s core wounds and limiting beliefs. 

To the man with more anxious tendencies, the anxious-avoidant trap feels overwhelming because it feels like your desire for closeness is never met. You’re constantly worried about what you say or do as to not come off too needy and push a woman away. Every moment feels like make or break because there’s always a threat of her leaving. You’re constantly searching for signs she is losing interest and any shift in her energy can spike anxious thoughts. 

To the man with more avoidant tendencies, the anxious-avoidant trap also feels overwhelming. You’re constantly worried about losing your freedom and ending up with a woman whose needs you can’t meet. Every moment feels like make or break because you feel a huge sense of responsibility to not hurt her and feel trapped but also have a gut feeling it’s not the right partnership for you. 


5 reasons you keep getting into the anxious-avoidant trap

1. You haven't healed from past relationships 

There is a big difference between getting over a woman and moving on from what happened. Time can help you lose attachment to her, but it won’t heal the lasting effects of the relationship dynamic and break up. 

You need to identify and understand why the relationship happened and ended the way that it did, where these patterns originated, and then consciously make changes in your mindset and behavior. You are experiencing certain relationships because there is something your subconscious is trying to heal. And until you do, you will continue to relive the same painful dating experiences. 

2. You have unresolved limiting beliefs

We all acquire stories about love, dating, relationships, and ourselves throughout our lives. They come from our upbringing, the dynamics we observed, our experiences, and what we watch and listen to. We decide which thoughts are our truth.

These thoughts shape our actions and our dating reality.  If you’ve chosen certain limiting beliefs like love is hard, women are complicated, you’ll always get left, women expect too much from you, you’re not inherently worthy of love, etc, you won’t be able to experience a healthy relationship dynamic until you change them. 

3. You subconsciously believe you need to achieve love

This is one of the most common blocks I see high-performing men deal with in dating. When you believe you have to achieve love, you’re setting yourself up for difficult dating situations. 

This subconscious block is why you try and impress women, overinvest, get a thrill from the chase, and choose women that feel difficult to connect with. It’s also why you don’t feel attracted to women who make you feel safe and secure. 

4. You have a subconscious attraction to unavailability 

Similarly to achieving love, a subconscious attraction to unavailability will keep you chasing women who don’t show up for you and running away from women ready for a relationship.

You don’t have to consciously know she’s unavailable to feel drawn to her. You can sense her unavailability subconsciously and this creates a sense of tension and intensity, which you’ve mistaken for chemistry. 

5. You have unhealed subconscious fears of abandonment, intimacy, and/or rejection

If you have an insecure attachment style, it’s because you have unresolved fears of abandonment, rejection, and/or intimacy. You can consciously desire partnership and take all the steps to make it happen – getting online, updating your profile, approaching women, working on communication, getting in amazing shape, or making more money.

But if you have unresolved subconscious fears, you’ll never feel truly safe in a relationship. And when you subconsciously feel unstable, you’ll continue to self-sabotage anytime you get into a relationship. 


How to get into a secure relationship

I want you to experience a secure relationship because it’s the best. It’s the type of partnership where you feel accepted, respected, and adored and where you never have to question her loyalty to you.

Dating an emotionally available woman will change your life. You won’t be wasting energy getting in fights, avoiding conflict, and feeling like you can’t get your needs met. Instead, her love will inspire you to achieve and experience amazing accomplishments, adventures, and intimacy.

To attract an emotionally available woman, you have to become emotionally available, integrate into your masculine energy, and have the tools to create a healthy relationship. 

I know plenty of you are thinking, “I am emotionally available. I do want a relationship with a woman. I want to be affectionate.” But if you’ve been in the anxious-avoidant trap, no matter how much you consciously desire closeness, your subconscious is trying to push it away. This is a telltale sign of emotional unavailability. 

It’s not because you’re a bad guy, you’re a great guy. You just have unresolved subconscious blocks that make falling in love feel threatening instead of exciting. These blocks are also disconnecting you from your true masculine energy. This is why it feels impossible to create polarity and build attraction with women you’re into.  

The first step to attracting an emotionally available woman and building a secure relationship is to identify your subconscious blocks. Once you’ve been able to identify and process them, then you can start reshaping them and feeling more confident and free in dating.

I break down the core subconscious blocks men have in dating in my course, Masculine in Love, so you can identify which ones are holding you back. 

I then walk you step-by-step through the reprogramming process to free yourself of subconscious doubts and insecurities and step into an authentically confident version of yourself who’s irresistible to high-value women ready for a relationship. 

Only after this work can you then start implementing the other coursework I take you through to…

  • Optimize your online dating profile to attract the type of woman you want

  • Approach and communicate with women unapologetically 

  • Integrate into your masculine energy to lead the dating process and build polarity naturally

  • Learn how to set boundaries to create more intimacy, not conflict 

  • Understand how women think in dating and what they find attractive 

  • Connect with women on a deeper level that inspires your dream woman to commit to you without hesitation

Masculine in Love will show you how to attract your dream woman and keep her.

You are going to learn the proven mindset principles and dating methods I teach to my VIP Private Clients to completely transform their dating lives for good. 

This program is valued at over $14,000, but I’m offering it to you for a mere fraction of that.

If you want to stop self-sabotaging your dating life and finally get into the relationship of your dreams, this course is for you.

My mission is for every one of you to experience the type of love that gets you jumping out of bed in the morning.

Emily Freeman Coaching


I want to help you attract the woman that lights your soul on fire.

That accepts you for who you are without trying to change you.

Who you know is 100% committed and loyal to you.

And who respects you to your core. 

This course is the next step for you to make this your reality.

I have put my heart and soul into this program and I can’t wait for you to experience the profound transformation so many men have already had from this material.

I can’t wait to start your transformation!

Emily Freeman Coaching, Masculine in Love

Until next time!

Emily Freeman Coaching Signature
It’s my mission to help men realize their true potential in dating & relationships. I know what it’s like to desire partnership so badly but question if you’ll ever get it. It doesn’t have to be this hard. I’m so grateful I’m the one who gets to show you how fun and fulfilling love can be.

Emily Freeman

It’s my mission to help men realize their true potential in dating & relationships. I know what it’s like to desire partnership so badly but question if you’ll ever get it. It doesn’t have to be this hard. I’m so grateful I’m the one who gets to show you how fun and fulfilling love can be.

Back to Blog

Previous Issues of The Newsletters

blog image

Are You in the Anxious-Avoidant Trap?

February 01, 202410 min read

One morning I woke up and decided enough was enough.

As a romantic, the most important part of my life was finding a special person to share it with.

Some call it “boy crazy.” And being boy crazy was somewhat normal in middle school and high school, even college.

But in my mid-twenties, after two back-to-back multi-year relationships ended painfully, I felt like there was something wrong with me.

I didn’t know why I could attract men easily but never keep them.

I was heartbroken and worried I would date forever. Then I found thought work.

Working on my limiting beliefs helped me enough to feel ready to get back into the dating world. At first, I loved dating. With the apps, I was able to meet amazing men.

But then I started to notice patterns.

I would feel anxious anytime I met someone new. I’d obsess over what to say next, how he felt about me, or what his texts meant.

And when he was into me, I’d worry about choosing the wrong partner again and getting hurt.

Within a few dates, one of us always decided to move on.

Dating became extremely distracting.

I had big dreams, professionally and personally, and I knew whatever I was feeling in dating was holding me back from my potential.

I started researching love, attraction, and dating. I thought there must be something I was doing or saying wrong. But meditation and sending texts I found on the internet didn’t work.

And then I came across attachment theory. It explained why I felt so great in my day-to-day life and like a mess in dating.

It clearly described why I could never maintain a connection, no matter how strong our feelings were for each other at the beginning.

It all started to make sense. I was subconsciously programmed to sabotage my love life, and so were the guys I was attracted to.

After months of reading and following dating coaches, I thought I cracked the code.

Then, one more short-lived relationship ended.

I realized I had awareness, but I didn’t have the tools to change my patterns.

I knew I wanted help, but I was scared. I was worried a coach would tell me something was wrong with me or I was destined to be alone forever. Or worse, she/he would sell me on love, I’d spend tons of money, and then never have it.

I decided to believe in myself and in my ability to succeed. I wasn’t going to let another second go by without understanding why I couldn’t break the cycle on my own.

My coach changed my life. She helped me see the parts of me I couldn’t. Held space and love for me as I processed my pain, frustration, and sadness. Helped me create a clear roadmap to attract true love and abundance. And gave me the tools I needed to cultivate the fulfilling and expansive partnership I’m in now with my fiance, Mike.

And I’m so grateful I get to do the same for you!

I know trying something new can feel uncomfortable.

But I get excited now when I feel the lump in my throat or a shakiness in my limbs, and my clients do too.

Because we know this isn’t fear, it’s an excitement that something big is coming. That everything is about to change, for the better. And something we weren’t able to attract into our lives previously, is about to show up.

It’s your turn.

If you’ve been thinking about working together, and every time you do you start to feel resistance, lean into it. It’s a great sign!

Joining one of my programs will be a huge uplevel. Investing in yourself and your love life in itself tells the universe you’re ready for your dream woman.

And right now, you have the opportunity to join my course, Masculine in Love!

Your dream woman is out there, hoping to meet you too. But until you break the cycle and reprogram your subconscious, she’s going to have to keep waiting.

It’s time to join Masculine in Love and get the love you’ve always desired with the woman you’ve always dreamed about. 

Masculine in Love

And if you want to take your coaching to the next level and work one-on-one to accelerate your results, I have one VIP Private Coaching spot opening up. 

Apply now and see if we’re a good fit for your transformation.

Emily Freeman Coaching Application to be a VIP Private Client

Are you in the anxious-avoidant trap?

Being in the anxious-avoidant trap is exhausting. It feels intense and exciting one minute and then chaotic and painful the next. 

It’s like you’re never on the same page for longer than a few days, or even hours. 

It can make you feel insane, but you’re not.

You’re just programmed to choose women who are energetically incompatible with you. 

The anxious-avoidant trap is when an anxious attacher, or someone with more anxious attachment tendencies, dates an avoidant, or someone with more avoidant tendencies. 

You are both triggering each other’s core wounds and limiting beliefs. 

To the man with more anxious tendencies, the anxious-avoidant trap feels overwhelming because it feels like your desire for closeness is never met. You’re constantly worried about what you say or do as to not come off too needy and push a woman away. Every moment feels like make or break because there’s always a threat of her leaving. You’re constantly searching for signs she is losing interest and any shift in her energy can spike anxious thoughts. 

To the man with more avoidant tendencies, the anxious-avoidant trap also feels overwhelming. You’re constantly worried about losing your freedom and ending up with a woman whose needs you can’t meet. Every moment feels like make or break because you feel a huge sense of responsibility to not hurt her and feel trapped but also have a gut feeling it’s not the right partnership for you. 


5 reasons you keep getting into the anxious-avoidant trap

1. You haven't healed from past relationships 

There is a big difference between getting over a woman and moving on from what happened. Time can help you lose attachment to her, but it won’t heal the lasting effects of the relationship dynamic and break up. 

You need to identify and understand why the relationship happened and ended the way that it did, where these patterns originated, and then consciously make changes in your mindset and behavior. You are experiencing certain relationships because there is something your subconscious is trying to heal. And until you do, you will continue to relive the same painful dating experiences. 

2. You have unresolved limiting beliefs

We all acquire stories about love, dating, relationships, and ourselves throughout our lives. They come from our upbringing, the dynamics we observed, our experiences, and what we watch and listen to. We decide which thoughts are our truth.

These thoughts shape our actions and our dating reality.  If you’ve chosen certain limiting beliefs like love is hard, women are complicated, you’ll always get left, women expect too much from you, you’re not inherently worthy of love, etc, you won’t be able to experience a healthy relationship dynamic until you change them. 

3. You subconsciously believe you need to achieve love

This is one of the most common blocks I see high-performing men deal with in dating. When you believe you have to achieve love, you’re setting yourself up for difficult dating situations. 

This subconscious block is why you try and impress women, overinvest, get a thrill from the chase, and choose women that feel difficult to connect with. It’s also why you don’t feel attracted to women who make you feel safe and secure. 

4. You have a subconscious attraction to unavailability 

Similarly to achieving love, a subconscious attraction to unavailability will keep you chasing women who don’t show up for you and running away from women ready for a relationship.

You don’t have to consciously know she’s unavailable to feel drawn to her. You can sense her unavailability subconsciously and this creates a sense of tension and intensity, which you’ve mistaken for chemistry. 

5. You have unhealed subconscious fears of abandonment, intimacy, and/or rejection

If you have an insecure attachment style, it’s because you have unresolved fears of abandonment, rejection, and/or intimacy. You can consciously desire partnership and take all the steps to make it happen – getting online, updating your profile, approaching women, working on communication, getting in amazing shape, or making more money.

But if you have unresolved subconscious fears, you’ll never feel truly safe in a relationship. And when you subconsciously feel unstable, you’ll continue to self-sabotage anytime you get into a relationship. 


How to get into a secure relationship

I want you to experience a secure relationship because it’s the best. It’s the type of partnership where you feel accepted, respected, and adored and where you never have to question her loyalty to you.

Dating an emotionally available woman will change your life. You won’t be wasting energy getting in fights, avoiding conflict, and feeling like you can’t get your needs met. Instead, her love will inspire you to achieve and experience amazing accomplishments, adventures, and intimacy.

To attract an emotionally available woman, you have to become emotionally available, integrate into your masculine energy, and have the tools to create a healthy relationship. 

I know plenty of you are thinking, “I am emotionally available. I do want a relationship with a woman. I want to be affectionate.” But if you’ve been in the anxious-avoidant trap, no matter how much you consciously desire closeness, your subconscious is trying to push it away. This is a telltale sign of emotional unavailability. 

It’s not because you’re a bad guy, you’re a great guy. You just have unresolved subconscious blocks that make falling in love feel threatening instead of exciting. These blocks are also disconnecting you from your true masculine energy. This is why it feels impossible to create polarity and build attraction with women you’re into.  

The first step to attracting an emotionally available woman and building a secure relationship is to identify your subconscious blocks. Once you’ve been able to identify and process them, then you can start reshaping them and feeling more confident and free in dating.

I break down the core subconscious blocks men have in dating in my course, Masculine in Love, so you can identify which ones are holding you back. 

I then walk you step-by-step through the reprogramming process to free yourself of subconscious doubts and insecurities and step into an authentically confident version of yourself who’s irresistible to high-value women ready for a relationship. 

Only after this work can you then start implementing the other coursework I take you through to…

  • Optimize your online dating profile to attract the type of woman you want

  • Approach and communicate with women unapologetically 

  • Integrate into your masculine energy to lead the dating process and build polarity naturally

  • Learn how to set boundaries to create more intimacy, not conflict 

  • Understand how women think in dating and what they find attractive 

  • Connect with women on a deeper level that inspires your dream woman to commit to you without hesitation

Masculine in Love will show you how to attract your dream woman and keep her.

You are going to learn the proven mindset principles and dating methods I teach to my VIP Private Clients to completely transform their dating lives for good. 

This program is valued at over $14,000, but I’m offering it to you for a mere fraction of that.

If you want to stop self-sabotaging your dating life and finally get into the relationship of your dreams, this course is for you.

My mission is for every one of you to experience the type of love that gets you jumping out of bed in the morning.

Emily Freeman Coaching


I want to help you attract the woman that lights your soul on fire.

That accepts you for who you are without trying to change you.

Who you know is 100% committed and loyal to you.

And who respects you to your core. 

This course is the next step for you to make this your reality.

I have put my heart and soul into this program and I can’t wait for you to experience the profound transformation so many men have already had from this material.

I can’t wait to start your transformation!

Emily Freeman Coaching, Masculine in Love

Until next time!

Emily Freeman Coaching Signature
It’s my mission to help men realize their true potential in dating & relationships. I know what it’s like to desire partnership so badly but question if you’ll ever get it. It doesn’t have to be this hard. I’m so grateful I’m the one who gets to show you how fun and fulfilling love can be.

Emily Freeman

It’s my mission to help men realize their true potential in dating & relationships. I know what it’s like to desire partnership so badly but question if you’ll ever get it. It doesn’t have to be this hard. I’m so grateful I’m the one who gets to show you how fun and fulfilling love can be.

Back to Blog

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© Copyright 2023 All Rights Reserved Emily Freeman Coaching

Privacy Policy | Terms

By submitting your information you agree to receive SMS and email notifications from Emily Freeman Coaching, Inc. as seen in our Terms and can opt out of SMS by replying 'stop'.